I can remember the sunrises which I observed for the sake of sunrise. I can also remember those moments while I traveled hundreds of miles to see a sunset. Sun sets and sun rises, man get birth and man dies. Nothing stops for anything. Neither my life, nor my feelings.
It has been years after years, excitements, dreams and aspirations are just the words of my archives. I’ve kept them carefully in a locker. Sometimes I open it and see them up. I can see nothing perturbed their flows, they were there, they are. But it is the time which has flown miles away….
Another year is gone! I can still remember, it was the month of September when I started my blog “Lights and Shadows”. There was a little philosophical point of view in naming such. I haven’t stated that in my blog, but I feel it. Our feelings, emotions are the key to any work. If it’s something creative or positive work, I feel it has come from the Light! If it’s bad, if it’s frivolous attitude to harm someone, if it’s expression of anger — this is like Shadow to me. I didn’t feel it as Dark. Because I feel every human beings is good. Every child I see seems angel to me, they are innocent! But later, they are influenced bad and evil things and keep them inside. I feel we can bring the innocence back again if we try for ourselves, if we try for our families, societies…
I was searching for some words to fix the title at first. The reason behind is, I have already fixed up few random things to write. I wondered today that it has been almost two months since I posted my last post. And if I don’t write another post within tomorrow, for the first time in last two years there will be a month without an entry in my blog ! I don’t want to let it happen.. LOL
The simplest thing clearly depicts what life I am living. Living in the capital city of Bangladesh, the Dhaka is never less than fighting in a field of war. Weirdly said right? Yeah, I told it as I do feel. What do you feel if you start from your home 1.5 hours before your office time at 8 am in the morning, and you can’t reach in time rather being late half an hour. And more importantly, during holidays you can never make this time more than half an hour anyway to cross the length! And during office days, I stand there on the bus stand for and hour and can’t manage a public transport to board on. The sun is up there, you are moving for each buses coming on the ways closing doors or some are filled up even not sparing an inches on the doors! This is the city life in here! Continue reading
With my growing up, I came to realize, I live in a city of Crowd. I live in a world of human beings… Nobody who haven’t lived in Dhaka, can never think of life. As I got birth in such a ‘Developing country”, I had no contribution in it. All I get from my lifestyle in such a city, I consider them as gift.
The most interesting part of my urban life is, crowd everywhere. While in the morning I started 2 hours before my office time to cross only 5 kilometers, I found it was not enough!! I discovered hundreds of people are standing on the crossings of roads to board on to a transport but couldn’t manage!
Luckily, I found a bus to ‘hang’ inside after 50 minutes and reached office being scratched. It took 2 hours perfectly! Right now, its 2 hours over from my office time and I am still in office. This is for some other reason. I have wrapped up my works for the next two off days. I made myself calm and opened the editor of WP to write few words. I am taking this opportunity because I know writing a post from my home at night is simply impossible. I rarely have seen that I returned back my home at night and there is electricity on! I find it dark all around, few shops are generator-powered. I buy a candle from shops then use it in ”home-time”. The power will come back and I will take my dinner. And after that, I will manage times to surf internet. Right at that moment, the power will be cut!
a common scenario in the city of Dhaka
I haven’t written anything in my blog since a month. Due to laziness, pressure of works and else I have turned to something different than what I was. I haven’t intended to be so, or never thought of being such dormant in blogs. I know very clearly, blogging is my passion. Blogging is something that gives me pleasure out of thousand works around me. I am not talking about being a blogaholic, but I want to say that there are slightest efforts around us in our lives that gives pleasure, keeps us elated. The pleasure that doesn’t create problems to others in anyway. I would try to dissect the matter some other day I hope…
This is November. Four days has been passed in this month already. August, September, October gone…. and it’s November! I urged to wake me up when September ends, nobody did that!! I had been out of everything. I couldn’t manage me to do few works that should had to be fulfilled. Time goes on….
Time never waits for us. I wished to emancipate myself from the prison of my ‘no enthusiasm’. I am sitting numb and looking around, time is going on… and on…. People over the earth are changing their life-styles, but I am not. I am in such a subtle condition that I couldn’t create anything to change this state. This is the time for which I had been anticipated so long… but what have I done? Nothing!!
I can only repent– the September ended, nobody called me up. Nobody Woke me up…. I am just remembering the song by Greenday… the lyric is touching me… Really. I don’t know how could I do the impossible to possible. Should I hide myself from this world. How long I would keeping on being defeated? How long? I have lost to achieve anything in life….