From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Today I was going through this poem — ‘Alone’, written by Edgar Allan Poe. I felt so attached, so close with the lines. I found my feelings were depicted in through the lines. I know, “My passions from a common spring./ From the same source I have not taken/ My sorrow; I could not awaken/My heart to joy at the same tone;/And all I loved, I loved alone.”
It has been a long time since I wrote a blog post. My hands don’t move these days. I think by myself, how can I write? I touch left side of my chest to feel my heart, I feel I’m alive! I know I am not numb like I was for last few years. I know I am not dumb like I was for last few years. I’m overcoming my bad times, I’m on my ways to get me over.
And I learned so many things. From my experiences and thoughts, from my realization and understandings, I discovered and explored through many ideas, emotions and feelings. as I found in the end, all we need is to come back to us, to our heart, to our own existence.
I go back to my young days, my fantasized loving heart, my innocence, my fascinated eyes… I dream. The world is never a good thing I ever thought then, the people are never good internally that I used to think. I wish to keep on reciting, “From the same source I have not taken/ My sorrow; I could not awaken/ My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I loved, I loved alone.”
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